Every January for the past five years, I’ve said to myself, “Jen. This is your year. It’s your year to be the parent you are in your head. Say buh-bye to meat! Clutter! And Hulk-mom moments! It’s your year to take everything you’ve read and everything you’ve daydreamed of and PUT. IT. INTO. ACTION.”
The thing is, I have the desire to be and do all of these things. It’s the energy to follow through with all of them that I’m lacking. Also—why pick so many things? Rome wasn’t built in a day. And Rome certainly didn’t have a three-year-old, a five-year-old, a dog, a cat, a daily commute and a full-time job! (Okay, I added the pets to sound more impressive.)
So if you’re like me, and you’re Type-A-ish, here are some things you can embrace in 2019 to live your #BestMomLife.
Minimalism is a frame of mind. Do a closet purge/toy cleanse, and try to be conscious about what you bring into your home. But accept the fact that sometimes you will need to buy a piece of crap from the dollar store because you just had to physically restrain your daughter when she had her blood taken. Also, you can tone down the birthday madness by throwing a “toonie or fiver” party. (Instead of a gift, every guest brings a small donation that will go towards one big gift.) Yes, I’ve done it, and it’s great. You can also ask for experience gifts instead of physical ones.
You can become a vegetarian when your kids stop being so damn picky. That’s how I justify it to myself anyway.
Messy hair, don’t care. Be the hashtag you’ve always claimed to be. Plus, no one is looking at your hair anyway. They’re preoccupied with whatever it is your children are doing to embarrass you.
Leftover coffee in the pot from the morning? Add ice. Add milk. Add a touch of maple syrup = maple iced coffee!
Mismatched socks driving you crazy? Make it a thing! Embrace it! But if you’re a true Type-A and can’t handle the mismatched style, make it a game for the kids to figure out and hand them the laundry hamper, “Whoever gets the most matches wins my love and affection for a day!”
Feeling out of touch with fashion? Don’t change a thing. If you hold onto stuff long enough, it comes back into fashion. You’ll be #trendsetting again in no time.
Feeling like you look as tired as you feel? There’s a filter for that. Or a full-on face mask/wizard hat/dog ears. Thanks, technology!
Embarrassed about how messy your house is? Remember, your house is messy ’cuz you love your kids and you’re too busy “making memories” to clean up dust bunnies. Make that your mantra, and start to just believe the sh*t you tell yourself.
Wonder when you’ll lose the “baby weight”? Whatever you do, don’t wonder about it publicly on social media or your multi-level marketing friends will swarm you like flies. “Wanna join my 25-day banana-juice detox? It’ll only cost you $200 and your soul!” My advice? Do your best and worry about it later, once the baby is sleeping. And feeding themselves. And teaching themselves complex math equations. Or in other words…stop worrying about your pre-baby body, and instead, focus on what your body can do! (Like get up ten times a night, deal with puke-y sheets, and still make that 9 a.m. meeting!) Damn, girl.
Do you feel lighter yet? Mentally? Because this is basically how I survive as a full-time working mom with a three-year-old, a five-year-old and a fake dog and cat. Happy New Year! Now go out there and live your #BestMomLife this year. We’re all in this together, and our hair sucks.